KATEGORIE: Vtipy anglicky

Nejlepší vtipy anglicky

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings which were on display at that time. „I have good news and bad news,“ the owner replied. „Okay. Let´s hear it,“ responded the artist. „Well, the good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.“ „That´s wonderful,“ the artist exclaimed. „What´s the bad news?“ „The guy said he was your doctor.“

Nejlepší vtipy anglicky

City lady: „Have you ever had any accidents?“
Cowboy: „No, Ma´ am. Mind you, I was once kicked by a horse and bitten by a snake.“
City lady: „Good heavens! Don´t you call those accidents?“
Cowboy: „No, Ma´ am.They dit it on purpsose.“

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An Arabian guy at the aeroport: Name? Ahmed al-Rhazib. Sex? Three to five times a week. No, no… I mean male or female? Male, female, sometimes camel. Holy cow! Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general. But isn’t that hostile? Horse style, doggy style, any style! Oh dear! No, no! Deer run too fast.

Nejlepší vtipy anglicky

Jack was living in Arizona during a heat wave when the following took place. „It´s just too hot to wear clothes today,“ complained Jack as he stepped out of the shower. „Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?“